[12 Mar 2006|01:40pm] theres a good chance that none of us will make it out of here alive theres a good chance that none of us will ever see the light of day again and we fade we talk cheap through microphones, about the pain we feel inside we talk cheap through microphones, for the escape that it provides and we fade we drink cheap its watered down just to save a couple bucks we drink cheap its watered down in hopes it brings back our long lost luck, and we fade give up

[02 Mar 2006|01:35pm] ill leave behind this concrete blackhole ill see the world, ill make it on my own I finaly reached the escape velocity now im soaring out of this city, and through the open air, straight to fuckin stars theres nothing left on the teachers desk atleast not in highschool, atleast not for me Ive learned everything that I'll need to know to get there So Im on my way, I swear ill send you postcards about how happy it is where im at and how miserable i was breathing through your lungs give up

[28 Feb 2006|01:11pm] A dying conscience stuck inside a metal skull Gasping for a chance to feel flesh around bone. How deep do i have to dig to bleed? These wounds are empty over cold steel My life source runs through copper veins channeling shock directly to a V6 heart. how deep do i have to dig to bleed? how deep do i have to dig to bleed? how deep do i have to dig to bleed? give up

[28 Feb 2006|12:30pm] the moon hides behind its own sillohuette tonight. all we see are beating chests and eye's whites. and each others aspirations. breathing heavy while we practice whispering. "tonight is a dream" cooed quiet but neither of us sleep. these inanimate sheets learned to speak. another quiet sound so sweet emits more like a squeek. the flesh of your back is moist with dew and sweat. our entire world lays in this individual blankett. on a hill top. a bassonet for the ifantile actions we've left behind at dusk. There is no humor here. just the darkness and our stares. cutting through. for such a short time, a minute a second, just a chosen few. and then like thunder bolts we fade. we enter with a bang and exit in a blaze that leaves a shining glare within your pupil, but not long enough to remember. so it turns to regret for what we always seem to forget. and we cry ourselves to sleep as the sun begins to wake give up

[10 Dec 2005|07:36pm] [ mood | depressed ] im sick of feeling worthless im sick of feeling used im sick of feeling lonley im sick of feeling hated im sick of these agnostic thoughts im sick of not having a solid group of friends im sick of the 3 or 4 groups of people i hang out with im sick of work im sick of school im sick of home im sick of thinking about next year im sick of this year im sick of my mom im sick of my uncle im sick of being outcasted im sick of the christmas season im sick of assholes at work im sick of music im sick of the scene im sick of shows im sick of hardcore faggots im sick of emo pussies im sick of metalshit heads im sick of girls im sick of being lead on im sick of being dropped im sick of wanting to cry im sick of punching my wall im sick of fighting im sick of violence im sick of joking around im sick of being serious im sick of this room im sick of television im sick of alcohaul im sick of partys im sick of myspace im sick of staring at my walls in boredom im sick of the way i never stick to commitment im sick of pretending like i know who i am im sick of assholes im sick of milford im sick of stratford im sick of orange im sick of all of ct im sick of everything im sick of false smiles im sick of trying to make people feel better im sick of depressed people im sick of myself im sick of angry people im sick of the dark im sick of everythinggg 2 gave in give up

omg! [28 Jun 2005|06:06pm] dear live journal, today i found out kte was alive, my worst fears were false, im so relieved...she was fighting drugs, what a great kid. ok well i need to go make a hamburg. sincerly, Dave m Cannon 1 gave in give up

[26 Jun 2005|12:24pm] Nobody likes the look of anybodys backs, so they open up there mouth and talk alot of smack, bull shit trash that doesnt need to be said, about a fucked up kid and the things he did, fuck you dirtbag, there must be better kids, fuck you dirtbag, you fuckin disgrace well this is a stand towards the friends who have fallen, decided to bitch and started name calling, opened their lips and spoke a bunch of shit, Well fuck you you pest, you little fuckin itch, fuck you dirtbag, there must be better kids, fuck you dirtbag, you fuckin disgrace The small of my back has seen better days, carried many problems such long ways, i was the fuckin mediator one might say, I made everything right and no one had to pay, fuck you dirtbag, there must be better kids, fuck you dirtbag, you fuckin disgrace but now im slipping, gonna relieve my throat, tellin everybody every lie and ever little boast, well if you got a problem just say it to their face, "oh but i dont wanna hurt there feelings" its never the case, fuck you dirtbag, there must be better kids, fuck you dirtbag, you fuckin disgrace Wear your x's on your hands and talk about your loyalty, stare at your fuckin self as you screw them royaly, straight edge, your hypocritical trend, straight edge, with your untold truths your such a good friend, fuck you dirtbag, there must be better kids, fuck you dirtbag, you fuckin disgrace straight edge, your hypocritical trend, straight edge, with your untold truths your such a good friend, 2 gave in give up

[12 Jun 2005|09:29pm] A shadow of a boy without a face, my sillohoutte paves the sidewalk, but no flesh meets with my dissaray of light, And if i sang you a song would you hear the words? or will i sound like nothing, but air rushing to fill the void in the empty atmosphere, Atleast my pain will create a refreshing breeze for you, Once egocentric but i tried to swallow my pride, And choked away on its untender bullshit, I wish i was an apparition, atleast then i have a reason to fade away from vision, I just want to last, to be opaque and solid matter, when you stare in my direction, let it be I that you see, not the world that outshines me. A bunch of useless words, that mean nothing to anyone, but just remember i, no just forget it, These lines started with a point but now degraded into nothing, a useless waste of space, i swear ill save my breath,save my breath in my chest until my exhale is my last, I could ramble on, wear away my keyboard till its nothing but frayed plastic, but its the end, the end, this is the end 1 gave in give up

[11 May 2005|10:10pm] what do your tears imply? are they realy an expression of your pain? im sorry that your broken im sorry that your broken The empathy i feel for you I learned to put myself in your place, id cry if i were broken id cry if i were broken, And did you think I would stay, with this impending doom? Slim to none, the radio broadcasts, our chances for survival And you broke down your walls, to find nothing but scorched earth, You let go of me, while falling i healed my broken wings, and im glad to see your moving on, even if its into nothing, if you need me i am soaring, not watching over you, i disapeared into, my nimbus, Angelic doesnt fit you, your more of a disgrace, to heaven and its maker, So i wave goodbye to you as i disapear into, my nimbus what do your tears imply? are they realy an expression of your pain? im sorry that your broken im sorry that your broken The empathy i feel for you I learned to put myself in your place, id cry if i were broken id cry if i were broken, give up

so.go.home.emo.kid [09 May 2005|10:09pm] She mistook her heaven for a hell, Thought life was miserable when all was well, She took for granted her loving family, Said no one cared and she was so lonley, She was so caught up in her music scene, Hopein she'll just wake up and itd all be a dream BUT THIS LIFE IS REAL, AND SO IS HER BLOOD, She broke down her dam, and along came the flood, So.Go.Home.Emo.Kid. So.Go.Home.Emo.Kid. So.Go.Home.Emo.Kid. So.Go.Home.Emo.KId. Now shes marinating in her essence, But its not in peace that she will rest in, Dead with so much left on her chest, Bound to her grave with every regret, She never saw the world, Never wore her momma's pearls, Never lived on her own, Even though she thought she was, She never got kissed in the rain, Never used her humor to replace all of her pain, Never learned her place in life Even though she thought she did So.Go.Home.Emo.Kid. So.Go.Home.Emo.Kid. So.Go.Home.Emo.Kid. So.Go.Home.Emo.KId. Convinced her birth was just a big mistake, She went with a message left on a cassete tape, Through the recording, her point was loud and clear, She wanted to break the hearts of the ones who called her dear, Told her dad to fuck off, for all his anger and his rage. Now all her daddy ever did was tell her to behave. Told her mommy to go and die for the lies and the pity, Now all her momma ever did was tell her she was pretty, So.Go.Home.Emo.Kid. So.Go.Home.Emo.Kid. So.Go.Home.Emo.Kid. So.Go.Home.Emo.KId. Another lost cause emo kid Growin up just like most of em did, tryin to scrape out attention from anywhere, Cryin bout the ghosts that arent realy there, Talkin bout coming up in a broken home, you never hear about their trust fund and 300 dollar phones So.Go.Home.Emo.Kid. So.Go.Home.Emo.Kid. So.Go.Home.Emo.Kid. So.Go.Home.Emo.KId. 4 gave in give up

[07 May 2005|08:39am] and ive tried to find the words to tell you how this feels, its better than ive been in ages. Nothing can describe the things i feel inside, but ill do my best and try and tell you what this is. I feel like i am falling, and i feel like heavens calling, but just to say hello, i feel like I am good, Everything is just so fuckin good 2! what 2! lol laterr give up

[07 May 2005|08:38am] [ mood | apathetic ] a straight away to a dead end wall. we tap our feet to the melody.as our clavicals cringe to the steady beat. So merrily we trot to our own destruction With a sense of dead that fills the air And our waltz, we never looked so elegant as we move in still frames 1;2;3;1;2;3;1 The first beat of each measure is accented and this corresponds to the aggressive driving step that is taken on the count of one 1;2;3;1;2;3;1 i read it from a website, how do die in a rythm with the world,as it dances beautiful, on its axis, across this ballroom universe, we dance away our lives oh shnap updated give up

[28 Feb 2005|05:29pm] every year im here writing another song for you. wishing you back and wishing you well. where ever it is you are im skeptical on everything and its hard enough to breath with you gone. but this day its even worse. i remember the minute we got the call. 9:32 never hurt so bad. and all these lines dont even rhyme. hell it hardly flows. its just a venting of the pressure and the pain that builds with every passing minute as cliche, as it sounds on days like today it only hurts when i breath. four years almost a quarter of my life with out you. here in physical form. but we trust in the signs that your watching, blowing out street lights while we pass. protecting us from dangers and clearing out the bad. its funny cause every year after its snowed since youve been gone. dont ask me why it is but i cant help but laugh, now all im doing is writing how im feeling and strumming c chords softly. but i can only write so many pretty words about how i wish you were here with us when your eulogy said it all. goodbye RiP 3.1. 2001 still miss you jay, always will ____________________________________________________________________________ youve been gone for so long shouldnt this pain have ceased? but its still burning strong like a candle lit on an oil bathe Im starting to think itll never go away but thats ok i want these memories to last i dont wanna forget about our past since i know your not in our future atleast not for a long while when im gone will you meet me there standing on the clouds will you teach me to fly on these new found wings and im truly happy, its obvious we miss you, Every tear says it loud and clear, but to put into word the feelings we all bare, would again be the greatest understatment, These street lights are growing dull atleast we know your watching ______3 years and this is hard as hell_____________________________________________________________________________________________ we captured the moment but forgot the flash, the closest we can hold you to our heart, we couldnt light your life. yea we've avoided the window, but slammed into the dash, the closest to accepting this as i can come, we couldnt light your life.and we said a few prayers and still rememember the ash, the closest i can hold you to my heart. midnight black tears run across my cheeks, tatooing battle scars of me versus the lord apun my empty face, kept full with an empty smile, there is so much more behind these eyes, behind this mouth, that the world will never know,cursing his name almost every night.I can not find forgiveness he is the sinner yet he still lives. his face shows no emotion, he didnt care at all. after these two long years, i cannot find forgiveness _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________ It makes me sick that they took you from us, we put smiles on to cover our broken hearts, gone but not forgotten, gone but still here, and i talk to you most ever night, ask how u are and whats the weather like Is it as pretty as the story books, We walk the streets in the darkest nights, let us know your here blow out the lights, Signals telling us we'll never be alone why go home when all we need is right here this started out a simple song about how weve missed u all along, deformed it in to a cryer, i remember the night u left, i remember the day before, preminitions of the gore, i felt a pain in my chest, later on found out that u rest, in a better place, say a prayer, by the tree its this thing that took you from me, now we cry together in a room where you used to be now your gone but still here, now your gone but not forgotten burn your body into ash memorys closed with in a jar, know your spirits not to far,when will we see you again, and we'll be happy when we see you again Rest in Peace 3.1 hardtimes give up

who decides on the masterpiece [18 Jan 2005|05:01pm] you can fight all you want but its not bringing me any closer, so everybody watch me vanish from your lives. as magic as the setting sun. science disproves our miracles. soon you will realize the now unfathomable logical reasoning behind these tricks I use. its as basic as the light switch that paints the blue to the sky, existance through our failures at holding onto beliefs. Questioning the light to better know the darkness. temporary advocation of demons to better know the enemy. And destroying the love to better know the hate. Do you realy want to believe these Magnificant holy stars are nothing more than gas? Do you realy want to think that the ground is just a place to bury the dead. I need more than this world so im doing my best at holding onto his 2 gave in give up

[30 Dec 2004|09:10am] ((FIRSTS/LASTS..)) First best friend: josh+joel First real memory of something: i dont realy know lol First screen name: Wolfpac7887 First funeral : jays First pet: smokey...still living bitches First piercing/tattoo: none First love: dont think ive realy "LOVED" anyone First enemy: i dont have any First big trip: Florida First kiss location?: duck pin bowling Last good cry: while ago Last phone call: some stalker type kid that keeps calling trying to talking to me and hanging up, SINCE LAST NIGHT DAMMIT Last tv show watched: Aqua Teen Hunger Force Last time showered: hour ago Last shoes worn: nike black and silver zip ups, HOT SHOESSS lol Last item bought: A pepper jack burger at ruby tuesdays(thnx for covering me chels lol) Last ice cream eaten: whatever flavor is at kyles house, i think vanilla, and of course i have to pimp it out with all his crazy toppings Last Soda Drank: coke or sprite Last time wanting to die: said it-8 years ago? SHUT UP I WISH I WAS DEAD was a popular line/// ment it-never ((LAST PERSON...)) You Talked to - Saying goodnight to ray brett chris chelsea and kyle, not sure what order it went in You Instant messaged - steff You hugged: tess ;) To Instant Message you - steff You Yelled At - i dont yell at people, i kinda just get angry inside ((ARE YOU...)) Understanding - not usualy Open-minded - yeah id say so. Arrogant - occasionaly Insecure - no Interesting - id say so Random - thats what we be all about Friendly - the most Smart - haha no Moody - nah not exteriorly wise Childish - yea Independent - id say so Hard working - sorta Organized - been in my room latly? Emotionally Stable - yea Difficult - my way or the high way bitches Attractive - not in my opinion, i get alotta compliments on my eyes and hair tho Bored Easily -i live bored Responsible- responsible enough Angry - no Sad - sometimes Happy - usualy Hyper - only at night Trusting - nope, real sketchy bout most ppl Talkative - Yea but not in school ((what did you do)) last birthday: went to see terminator 3 wit kyle lol last weekend: opend xmas gifts new year's eve: went to blys (LIKE A GOOD KID) halloween: chilled with the crew ((opinions)) what do you think about pop music: completly under appreciated about boy bands: i dont like the dancing and all that shit, but they have catchy songs, get over it how many people broke your heart: none do you have a boyfriend or girlfriend: nope do you have a picture of him/her: nope do you have a picture of yourself: on the cpu... do you go by looks or personality: id say equaly important ha if you have a decent personality and you look decent, your good enough Best eye color?: i dont pay attention to eyes realy, but the only person whos eyes have ever been noticible to me were blue Best hair color?: light brown/blonde Short or long hair: long but some short cuts are pretty hot Height: anything under 6'2 so i can still call em short lol Best weight: 93.5 lbs, ha i have no idea ((who..)) makes u laugh the most?: steff, mesty, michelle when we got a good conversation going makes you smile?: everyone gives u a funny feeling when u see them?:when i see kaitlyn or shannon i get real happy cause i dont see them enough you have a crush on?: i always have crushes on alot of people, but suprisingly, no one right now has a crush on u?: that kid from cooking i think, tay g again haha, and i dunno ((Randomness..)) Last Song You Sang?:one i made up Last Thing You Laughed At?:aqua teen hunger force- "youve been liquified bitch" Last Time You Said 'I Love You' And Meant It?: i dunno, prolly never maybe 3 years ago with tay What's Under Your Bed?: well i like to go WWE on my asshole bed so i dont have a frame anymore, break tomany of them What Time Did You Wake Up Today?: 111 CD You Bought?:hmm i burn em all i cant remember last one Least Favorite Place?: my laundry room, altho it has its moments If You Could Play An Instrument?: bass Do You Believe In An Afterlife?: yeah How Tall Are You?:6'2 Favorite Season?: fall One Person From Your Past You Wish You Could Go Back And Talk To: i unno lyrics From A Random Song: soaring, tumbling, freewheeling, through an endless diamond sky Best Friends Forever Forever: k doGG what what! cousins stay true bitches 1 gave in give up

[28 Dec 2004|05:37pm] your sorry you didnt call, and im sorry i made you regret it i can tell by the blank stare at the wall, your not in this with me at all. Another failed date, with the same failure girl. another perfect night, in some fucked up little world. Why do we, well atleast me. why do we keep on fuckin trying, when one of us always ends up crying right before we commence in dying in each others arms. another false alarm, read completly wrong and we flipped shits on nothing. fuck this love, and everything it comes with. I dont need So now i shout and now i scream, fuck your love and everything we could have dreamed. Our throats they choke and gag to be free. our lips they're tired of dropping lines they dont mean.our words they're tired of mending severed ties. We just dont work and i think nothing does. fuck this love(x3), and everything it comes with. I dont need anything i can live alone, im tired of all the lies and how you conviently forget the most important things. live off lust(x3), now everythings completly physical and although the answers seem so visable, ten buck says im blind and lost by the end fuck this love(x2), fuck it to death fuck this love, fuck it too death(x2) 10mfah bitches ha so many songs written with lyrics and music, yet it goes no where :-/ give up

[25 Dec 2004|08:49am] it took a while but ive learned to hate everything i saw in your eyes. The burn of the sunlight no longer touches you. the whites have faded gray. the holes of your pupils that streched forever are now just potholes in your face.and the tears shed are now just salt and water. And you collapsed in the weight of all your led one liners and lies. paint, the walls crimson though shall not share her own blood(x2) keep your blood clean though shall not share her own blood(x2) Tears nor protien can save you Keep your blood clean haha what a wierd one, ill edit it better later 4 gave in give up

[23 Dec 2004|06:26pm] hey all here is something new, me n jay have completly given up on finding a drummer and a second guitarist, 10miles from anchorhead is dead and will possibly be ressurected in the future, but dont count on it, it sucks amazing potential yada yada. so now, we decided after our recent failures with the band (steve and mark quitting) replacement mark 2 being a dick when we were drunk n trashing his house haha, anyways, we decided the only ppl we can even trust to form a complete band with...is ourselves, so we today after school jay picked me up and we went to this kids house, we were just chillin wit him and started messing around with the recording shit he has from his band "3b"(Blood burns brightest) and somehow jay got this beat to start playing lol, and we were like ight lets hit a freestyle like we always do just messing around, the kid(dont know his name) was like yo that shit was real hot actualy, so we shot a few rhymes and beats back down juz fuckin around showin him what we got, and next thing you know we are RnB stars haha. we dont have the mp3 yet but when it comes out ill let u all know, leave a comment if ur gonna want me to send it to you, here are the lyrics and ill kinda walk you through it. (dave) (nomusic) intro:yo baby girlie, I love you and I have since the beggining, Youve created the last three years of my life but baby, everything your asking is beyond my control (gets heavy)i broke these fuckin necks for you and now im on parol, (Screaming)I took em up the ass for you(screaming/crying)And i was such a fuckin fool) (mellow beat drops in) (Jay n Dave alternating lines):Rememeber when i screamed for you, but you didnt return my affection, then my love for you, it bled to you, like a sick infection. But i was cured from the illness, and i comforted you in pain, I sat by your bed and held you, but it drove you so insane. Cause now you wanted me and of course i wanted you, but i didnt wish for it in the same way as you. I had gotten over all the fuckin heart ache, and was done with the games, and we are playin role reversal, our positions now are the same, (Difrent mellow beat drops layerd with other, realy funky sound coming out with a loud chaotic core strum screach) Jay(screaming):I dont wish for the taste of your lips, i dont want your delicate soft kiss, cause ill admit, it used to be a drugg to me, yea it would fucking fuck with me, and drive me into rage. Dave(screamoish): I woulda fuckin killed for you, i wasnt fuckin sane, now to be head up about it, it makes me wanna vommit,All the blood i shed for you, and now my hearts forgot it. Yea ill fuckin hang myself from the fuckin rafters, ill let you see what true love did, happily ever fuckin after. (back to original mellow beat) thats only like half of it but we are sitting here trying to remember how it goes and we cant lol, so thats all you get for now 1 gave in give up

[21 Dec 2004|05:56pm] im sitting here, writing another song for you. Its accoustic how you like it, and ill sing it to you soft, even though my voice is shot. and i can hardly play guitar. But i know that you appreciate it anyways, just because i thought of you and i want the best for you, And your so simple to please like that. and i like it. the first line of the song will start my point strong, when i say Please stop well if your willing to talk, im willing to listen. your always so vivid in all your descriptions. the the pain and the cut, the blood and the thrust. that opened up your viens.Is your life realy that sad, you need to bleed out the bad? to take these blades to your flesh and keep the air fresh. under your skin.I have so much to say, but where to begin. i guess with an i love you and im here. Ill go kill all your fears, if only to keep your skin soft. Are these cuts intentions to kill, or are you doing this for thrills, have the amusment parks lost their edge. Ill find a way to have my words, burn through your flesh, cauterize all your wounds,and it will hurt at first, but a numb will come and you would be fine again, once i find a way. Until now all ill say, is I think its fucked up, but you have my support, so put down the scissors and the pocket knives. ill do my best to make this right for you im sitting here, writing another song for you. Its accoustic how you like it, and ill sing it to you soft, even though my voice is shot. and i can hardly play guitar. But i know that you appreciate it anyways, just because i thought of you and i want the best for you, And your so simple to please like that. and i like it. the last line of the song will end my point strong, when i say Please stop 14 gave in give up

Shoot for the moon [15 Dec 2004|07:49pm] I wanna blow the moon to pieces and watch the fragmented falling stars tear into your flesh, while you scream, three cheers for beautiful romance. let the world see what i did for love. you begged me for the scissors now your begging me for the bandage, i wont always be here to mend the wounds i draw. I am the sculptist your body the stone, ill carve you to perfection 1 gave in give up

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